Twas the night before Sithmas (reylo au Christmas one shot)
by Hellyjellybean
Summary: Ben Solo is alone...and he likes it that way. He has his whiskey and his bitterness to keep him warm. But Christmas magic can do wonderful things, and a visit from a mystical being throws Ben into a world very different from the one he knew. But is it all a dream? Or will Ben really get everything he has ever wanted this Christmas?


_Christmas. Fucking Christmas. Why did it have to come every fucking year? _

Ben strode over to the mantelpiece and watched the dancing embers. The fire was the only light he would allow in the room. He glanced at the presents his mother had practically forced under his lack lustre tree. He considering tossing them into the flickering flames.

Instead, he threw himself down into his favourite armchair just as he threw another whiskey down his throat.

It was Christmas Eve but Ben had refused his mother's pleas for him to join them for the holiday season. Even Hux his lowly accountant had invited Ben to share a festive roast dinner with himself and his wife Rose. But Ben didn't want company. His plans were simple. He would drink himself into a nice little coma then sleep through the whole seasonal shit fest. It was the same thing he did every year. Hell, it could even be considered a tradition.

He poured himself another whiskey and held the glass up into the air.

'Merry Fucking Christmas.' He said before downing the drink and slumping back into his chair.

A moment later, a blue glow appeared in the middle of the room. Ben was unconscious, the whiskey had done its job.

A beautiful brunette dressed in white robes appeared where the blue glow had shone. She put her hands on her hips and shook her head at Ben.

'This won't do.' She muttered to herself.

The woman walked towards Ben and put her mouth to his ear.

'I'm going to show you what you're missing Ben Solo.' She said. Then she clapped her hands together and the dark room blew away like autumn leaves. A light airy living room appeared instead with a huge Christmas tree, comfy sofa's and a scattering of toys across a lush green carpet.

The woman smiled as she gazed down at Ben.

'I'm going to give you a glimpse of what you could have had, grandson.' She whispered before disappearing from sight.

Ben awoke to the sound of hammering. He clasped his eyes shut tighter.

'Bloody neighbours and their constant renovations.' He muttered to himself.

'Bloody neighbows! Bloody neighbows!' Sang a high pitched voice.

Ben's eyes sprang open. He looked down. A small boy with dark hair and matching eyes smiled up at him. He had a toy hammer in his hand.

'Bloody neighbows!' He said again with delight.

Ben blinked.

'What the…?' He said out loud then checked himself.

_No swearing in front of the imaginary child Ben. _

'Who are you?' Ben asked.

'Silly daddy!' The boy said and giggled until he fell over sideways.

_Daddy? _

'I'm not your daddy, kid.' Ben said.

'Silly daddy!' The child shouted again.

Ben didn't have any children. Ben had no one and he liked it that way. The child was obviously real though. Which was very concerning. Was this one of his mother's tricks? Or had he just wandered in off the street?

Ben looked around. This was his living room, wasn't it? It looked like his living room, but everything was...different. The walls were cream instead of gray, the tree was now a grand affair, his black leather armchair was gone and had been replaced with two plush sofas and his hardwood floors were carpeted green. Who in their right mind would have a green carpet? And there were toys, _so_ many toys, everywhere. Had he got so wasted last night that he had wandered into someone else's house? No. This was _his_ house. He was sure of it. So what the hell was going on?

'Where's your mother?' Ben asked the boy.

The child smiled at Ben, stood up and walked out of the room. Ben followed.

The corridors were filled with pictures of Ben and the little boy. Ben hardly recognised himself. He looked so….happy.

He followed the boy through to the kitchen. The room that was once all black chrome and silver trim, was now cream coloured with warm wooden benches. The delicious smell of pancakes met his nose and the sound of someone gently humming met his ears. The voice was feminine. Ben walked into the kitchen and the sight he saw before him nearly floored him.

There in the middle of his kitchen was Rey, wearing a candy cane striped apron and flipping pancakes as she hummed along to 'all I want for Christmas' which was playing loudly on the radio.

Ben stood still and waited for her to ask him what he was doing there, or question how the hell he got into the house, or to even throw him out.

But Rey didn't do any of these things. Instead, she turned and fixed him with a brilliant smile. She came towards him and pressed her lips against his. Ben sank into the kiss, and it transported his memory back to the last time he had seen Rey…

_Four years previous…_

Ben sat opposite Rey in the clinical conference room. He cleared his throat.

'I'm afraid we have to let you go.' He said.

Rey looked distraught.

'Why?'

'The company is going in another direction.' Ben explained, not meeting her eyes.

'You mean, he's got to you.' Rey retorted.

'I don't know what you mean.' He lied.

'Yes you do. Snoke has always hated me. He's been trying to get rid of me for years.'

'This is just the way it needs to be Rey.'

'No it isn't.' Rey said. She stood up from her chair and walked towards Ben.

'There's another way, Ben. Come with me. Walk out of here with me and we'll start our own company. Snoke knows you're the real brains behind FO industries that's why he keeps such a tight grip on you, that's why he's ordering you to fire me. He knows I care about you. I care about you...more than I probably should. I think maybe you care about me too.'

Ben froze. Rey cared about him? It had never occurred to him that she might feel the same way about him as he did about her. But it was too late. Snoke had ordered her dismissal and he didn't have a choice. All Snoke's orders were final.

'I can't Rey. I'm sorry.' He said weakly.

'Yes you can, don't pretend you don't have a choice. You're just afraid Ben. Afraid to go against Snoke and you'll live your whole life in fear and self-loathing if you don't free yourself from him.'

That had cut deep. He couldn't face seeing the look of disappointment in Rey's eyes. It was the same look he gave himself everyday in the mirror.

'Get out.' He said without looking at her.

He didn't need to see the tears in her eyes to know they were there.

'I, I hope you find what you're looking for Ben.' She said in a cracked voice as she turned to leave.

_Call out for her. _A small voice in the back of his head had pleaded, but he ignored it.

When Rey walked out of the door, it ripped his heart out and Ben had never fully recovered.

As the years passed by, Ben rose to the top of FO industries, it seemed as if there was nothing he couldn't do. He had everything he ever wanted, except someone to share his life with.

He had never forgotten Rey, and often thought of her, though he never admitted to anyone how he truly felt about her.

Ben had been in love with Rey since her first day at FO industries and he loved her even now, years after he had cruelly dismissed her, breaking both their hearts in the process.

Now here she was before him again, or at least some version of her, with her mouth pressed up against his. Her lips were as soft as he had always imagined them to be. When she pulled away he leaned towards her in a daze, wanting to reconnect once more.

'You fall asleep on the sofa again?' She said with an amused expression.

'Apparently.' Ben managed to stutter.

'I missed you. You know I need you to hold me when I'm cold. Why didn't you come up?' She pouted.

God she was delicious. Ben swallowed hard.

'Because I'm an absolute idiot.' He replied truthfully.

Rey laughed and reached up to place a kiss on the end of his nose.

'Now that's something we can agree on. Can you give me a hand here? You know the only thing I can make consistently well is instant coffee!'

'Rey, what's going on?'

'What do you mean, honey?' Rey asked, returning to the stove and frowning at the now black pancake. Rey flipped it out of the pan and poured some more mixture in.

'I mean, this isn't my life.'

'How much did you have to drink last night, sweetie?' Rey asked and then smiled excitedly as she managed to form a salvageable pancake. She slid it onto the plate in front of the toddler who had seated himself at the breakfast table.

The boy leaned down and picked up the pancake with his mouth. He smiled at Ben as he began to chew the pancake into his mouth like a goat gnawing on some cud.

'Use your cutlery sweetheart.' Rey said without turning away from the pan.

Ben thought for a moment, how much had he drank last night? Could this all still be a dream? Maybe his liver had finally gave up and he was dead? Or was he in a real coma?

Rey took the pan off the stove and walked over to him once more.

'Are you okay darling? You don't look so good.' She put a hand on his forehead.

Ben closed his eyes and relished the contact. _Fuck it_. Even if this was a coma, if was infinitely better than his own mess of a life.

'You don't feel hot.' Rey announced.

Ben took a chance and leaned in for a kiss. Rey didn't object, instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed him to lift her up off the floor.

Rey bit her lip when she broke the kiss.

'You're not sick.' She said with a gleam in her eye.

She put her mouth to his ear,

`l wish you'd come to bed last night.'

'Mammy! More pa-cak!' The toddler shouted from the table.

Rey sighed.

'Duty calls! So demanding, just like his father.' She said with a smirk.

Ben reluctantly lowered Rey back down to the ground.

'Alright Benji another 'pa-cak' coming right up.' She said cheerfully and Benji clapped his hands.

'Fank qu.' He said.

'Benji?' Ben asked, 'The boy is called Benji?'

Rey frowned as she finished up the next pancake.

'Yes. Named after his forgetful dad.' She replied.

'Sorry Rey, I seem to be a little confused today.'

'I should say so! Look, we don't have time for all this. You need to go get dressed. We're going to be late.'

She slid the next pancake onto the toddlers plate.

'Late for what?' Ben asked.

'Did you hit your head, baby? You're starting to worry me. It's Christmas Eve, we have to be at your parents house in an hour.'

'My parents?'

'Yes, your parents. Remember them? The people who raised you? Your mom? Our speed dial babysitter? And your dad? The one who give me away at our wedding?'

Ben's mouth fell open. They were married? He finally noticed Rey's wedding finger. Two rings resided there, a sparkling solitaire and a plain white gold band. He looked at his own hand, it held a matching white gold band.

Ben ran out into the hallway and searched the pictures that hung there. He found what he was looking for on a side table. A picture of himself and Rey in a silver frame. He was wearing a black tux with a white rose attached to his lapel. He was bending down to kiss Rey who wore a Grecian style cream silk dress. Ben held the photo in his hand. Rey came to stand beside him and rested her head on his arm.

'The happiest day of my life,' She said, 'Well, until we had our little Benji Boo.'

Ben looked at the photo and then at Rey.

'Ben what's wrong?' Rey asked.

Ben put the photo back down onto the table.

'Nothing.' He answered leaning down to kiss her forehead. 'Absolutely nothing.'

Ben decided that he didn't care what was going on, he was just going to go with it and hope it never ended.

When they were finally all dressed and bundled into the minivan, Rey and Benji sing along to the frozen soundtrack as Ben drove. Although Ben had announced on more than one occasion that Elsa's voice made his ears bleed, he found he didn't mind Rey and Benji's singing at all.

On arriving at his parents house, Ben was surprised to receive a hug from both his mother and his father. In reality, Ben barely spoke to his father. Benji immediately ran to Han with out-stretched arms. Han picked him up with ease and tickled the little boy until he laughed so hard he could barely breathe.

They exchanged gifts and ate and drank and laughed together around an enormous, glittering, Christmas tree. Rey berated Leia for spoiling Benji and Leia laughed it off and refused to stop.

It was getting dark when they finally left. Benji was already asleep so Ben carried him out to the car. The little boy felt so warm against his chest.

'Enjoy your Christmas you three!' Leia called from the threshold as she waved them off.

'That was... nice.' Ben said, surprised by his own sincerity.

'Yeah. It's lovely that Benji brought us all so much closer.' Rey replied.

'Rey, do you remember that day when I fired you?' Ben asked.

'You mean the day you tried to fire me.' Rey corrected. 'Yeah, what about it?'

'Do you remember what I said to you?'

'Of course I remember. That was the day that everything changed for us.'

Rey reached over and squeezed Ben's thigh. He tried not to run the car off the road. Man she drove him wild.

'Can you tell me what happened, Rey? I want to hear it from your point of view.'

Rey smiled. 'Okay. Well you pulled me in there and told me you were letting me go. I knew straight away it was Snoke who had put you up to it. I told you there was another way and I asked you to leave FO industries and start a new company with me. For a moment I thought you were going to say no and my heart broke a little.'

Ben gripped the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles went white.

'Then you stood up and took my hand and we left that office and never looked back, and now look at us, four years later, and we are partners in a successful business that kicks Snoke's butt on a daily basis. Married for almost three years, with a beautiful two year old son, I honestly never imagined I could be so happy.'

Did someone want him to see what his life could have been had he chose Rey that day? Was that what this was all about?

'Okay. I get it.' Ben said out loud.

'What?' Rey said.

'I said...I feel the same. I never thought I could be so happy.'

And he meant it. If he had known what his life could have been, he would have never turned his back on Rey that day.

They pulled up to the house and Ben retrieved Benji. Rey carried a bag full of presents and deposited them under the tree as Ben placed Benji down in his cot.

'How can I let all this go?' He said as he stroked the little boys head.

'I don't want to go back.'

_I'm afraid you must. These are but images of a future that could have been._

Ben heard the words in his head. It was a woman's voice, soft but firm.

'I don't want my life anymore, I want this one.' Ben pleaded.

_Choices were made, you let this world slip through your fingers. _

'Why show me this at all if I can't have it?' He asked.

_To open your eyes to the possibilities._

'How long do I have?' He asked sadly looked down at the sleeping tot.

_Until the stroke of midnight._

Ben closed the door to Benji's room and headed downstairs. Rey was lighting a fire. She smiled up at him and with the warm glow of the flames illuminating her features, Ben couldn't help but think she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He sat down on the floor beside her and clasped her hands within his.

'Rey, whatever happens from this day forward, I want you to know that I love you, I've never stopped loving you and I never will.'

'I know.' Rey said with a smile.

'These moments with you have been the happiest of my life.' He continued.

'I feel the same way.' She replied softly.

Ben kissed her. He tried to remember every sensation. The soft feel of her lips, the gentle touch of her hand on his cheek, the way she crept forward and arranged herself in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and moaning softly.

They made love right there in front of the fire. Their bodies entwined together like the dancing embers. Ben had never felt true joy until that night when he cradled Rey's face in his hands as he moved within her and she whispered that he was the only one who made her feel that way.

She cried out his name as she came, gripping tightly to his shoulders, he followed soon after allowing his release to flow through him and into Rey. Desperately wishing he could spend all his nights with her.

While Rey slept, Ben stayed awake and watched her. He tried to commit every freckle on her face to memory because he knew come midnight, that's all he would have. Memories of this perfect world. Built just for him.

Eventually he could no longer keep his eyes open and he succumbed to sleep.

He woke up in his dark, cold living room in his now hated armchair. He jumped as his mobile phone started to jingle in his pocket.

'Merry Christmas darling!' Came his mother's voice.

'Merry Christmas.' Ben replied. Feeling anything but merry.

'I'm making one last attempt to get you to come for Christmas dinner, it's not good for you to stay cooped up in that depressing house! You don't have to be alone you know!'

_You don't have to be alone_.

His Mother's last words triggered something deep within Ben and he knew what he had to do.

'Mother I can't, but if all goes to plan I will arrive at yours this evening and hopefully, I will have a guest with me.'

'Ooooh! A guest! I'm intrigued! But darling why can't you come to dinner? Do you have a prior engagement?'

'I gotta go see about a girl.' Ben replied.

Thank god he had kept tabs on Rey and knew she address. He turned up at Rey's door feeling nervous and afraid. What if she didn't feel the same way now? What if she turned him away?

_Come on coward. Just knock. _

Ben knocked and waited.

Rey came to the door and looked at him in surprise.

'Ben! What?'

'Don't talk. Just listen.' Ben said, not wanting to lose his resolve.

'I had a dream about you last night and as crazy as it sounds, it made me realise that I made a mistake in letting you go, and I know it's Christmas Day and I'm probably imposing on you, but I was wondering if you are still single, then perhaps you would be willing to give me another chance?'

Rey was silent. Ben rushed to fill the space between them.

'Please don't think I'm insane, I'm honestly more rational than I've been in a long time. I know what I want now, and what I want is you. I'm just asking for one date, and if it goes badly, you never have to see me again. Please say yes.'

'Ben, this dream you had, were we married?'

'Yes.'

'And we had a son, a two year old? with jet black hair?' Rey said.

'Yes.'

'And I wore an apron—'

'A candy striped apron yes.' Ben looked at her with wide eyes.

'Rey, did you…'

'I had a dream about you too. In my dream I watched us have the perfect family Christmas Eve, we made pancakes and spent time with your parents and later on...well...you probably know what happened.' She said with a smile and a blush.

'How is this possible?' Ben asked.

'I don't know. But I know I've always believed in second chances and maybe the universe is trying to tell us both that we belong together.'

'I want to be with you Rey, if you'll let me.'

Rey smiled and held out her hand. Ben took it with a grateful smile.

'Come on. Let's go in.' She said pulling him over the threshold of her tiny flat.

Rey pointed upwards and Ben noticed a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the door frame.

'It is a tradition…' Rey said.

'Yes, one I've suddenly become very fond of.' Ben replied.

He smiled as he leaned down to press his lips against hers and Rey pushed up on her tiptoes to meet him as she closed the front door.

Somewhere in a world beyond theirs, a pretty brunette smiled down on them.

'Matchmaking again huh?' Anakin said with an amused smile.

'Everyone deserves to have love in their lives.' Padme replied with a wistful smile.

'You know why I love you so much, Padme? Because you never give up on people.'

'No one is ever beyond saving, sometimes all they need is a little bit of help.'

'So will these two live happily ever after?' Anakin asked.

'They will. And together they will change the world.'

'How?'

Padme looked at him with a knowing smile,

'You'll have to wait and see, my love. You'll just have to wait and see.'

THE END


End file.
